fans of Vanderpump Rules are no strangers to manic outbursts and dastardly situations. Certain sects of society will watch the early seasons of VPR to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner with their disreputable relatives. While the majority of breakdowns occur within three miles, the crew sometimes takes their show on the road so they can fight with better views.
As vacations are taken to enjoy carefree days without tension or schedules, the cast of Pump Rules pack their anger into a light carry-on. The last time I yelled at someone in Mexico was never, but the same can’t be said for the stars of this show. Let’s take a look at some of the past trips that didn’t make it into Miss Manner’s style book and left their mark of decorum on the cutting room floor.
Tom Schwartz and his beer shampoo
Tom Schwartz, we see you. Always with a boyish smile and meticulously tousled hair. As he passes out from alcohol and cheats on his wife. I feel like it doesn’t look so good in daylight. In season 2, the gang traveled to Mexico and Tom made a successful turn at a party. Look, Tom doesn’t have a face like a thumb. He is distant when needed. It might even have turned out well without this show. But Tom never rode for Katie Maloney. Not while they were dating or getting married. While engaged in a very loud argument over Scheana Shay, Tequila Katie sobbed and begged Schwartz to take her side in an argument. He proceeds to call him a bully and other profane names, then he spouts his beer on his head. In public. Katie may have had some pretty offensive orange hair, but she definitely didn’t deserve this treatment. Sometimes we are blind to the red things rippling across our faces. But Katie’s eyes are wide open now.
Miami Fusion
When Scheana married for the first time, she and her ex-husband Michael Shay had a joint party in Miami. All kinds of fun games were planned and Scheana smiled a lot because she felt like the main character. She didn’t know that the main storyline wasn’t her future nuptials and it never was. An angry Kristen Doubted happened, much to the chagrin of Ariana Madix And Tom Sandoval.
As Kristen sulked and silently plotted Ariana’s death, Sandoval grew fed up with her theatrics and called a brief meeting. Tom and Kristen smoked their 100s and cried without the aid of tissues to hopefully smooth things over and at least coexist. But that was not the case. As soon as Tom’s face turned red and stained from crying, Kristen smiled and said, “That’s all I ever wanted…” Maybe Kristen can make him cry again sometime soon. .
This time Jax lied to Hawaii
Not this time with the sunglasses, the other time with Lala Kent. Jax and Hawaii don’t mix well because Hawaii clearly hates Jax. Nothing good ever happens to this man when he leaves the continent. In Season 4, the cast of SUR took a trip to celebrate birthdays, which never goes well. Lala once had flirting sessions with Jax because that was the basic initiation for a new cast member on this show.
What Lala didn’t know was Brittany Cartwright existed. It was kept on hold in case Jax could log on before he got to town. Brit Brit flew to heaven but her journey with Jax was just beginning. The female cast didn’t appreciate Lala’s hot body and even less when she got naked. Jealousy flowed, but so did lies when Jax denied his history of intense teasing with Lala. It was infuriating to watch and certainly a reminder that until recently Jax had made everyone’s bad deeds pale in comparison to his own.
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This time Jax lied to Mexico
These guys really love Mexico. Probably because they were banned from traveling with a film crew outside of the contiguous United States. Jax was really the main instigator of this show. If he and Kristen would team up and use their powers for good and not evil, it would be like Bravo’s version of the Avengers. But no, Jax is a big liar and Kristen has things to deal with, so let’s move on. During Season 6’s trip to Mexico, former lovers Kristen and james seemed pretty civil until Jax entered the chat.
This guy got on the gossip treadmill and ran his little legs over rearranged pillows. Jax was convinced by his crystals and the Holy Spirit that despite all the evidence, the pillows told tales of sexual trysts between James and Kristen. No other irrefutable evidence other than the three thoughts in Jax’s head. He pushed him until Kristen lost her temper and even said that James had bumped into the pool. But that was just Jax’s misunderstanding of a British accent.
The battered woman
This is probably the most famous scene in VRP history. But hang in there because it might be usurped by something that happens in the Season 10 reunion. The writing on the wall for Katie And Schwartz was easy to read before their marriage. Never has it been more evident than their mutual singles and singles trip to New Orleans. I doubt anyone on this trip has any recollection of having to consult reruns of their own show to place certain events. It was a lot of fighting, a lot of hassle and battered woman syndrome.
Schwartz was moping because Katie had the audacity to expect him to walk upright and have better people skills than a tadpole. And don’t be unfaithful. After a night of partying, Katie and her ladies confronted Schwartz. Sandoval, dressed in drag, intervened on behalf of Schwartz. For dramatic effect, he kicked a bathroom door as Schwartz sat in his cocoon of despair on the toilet. Although no one “won” the debate, the incident will go down in the annals of reality television until the end of time.
Feel free to share some of the memorable moments you remember Vanderpump Rules launch the trips of yesteryear!
TELL US – DO YOU ENJOY CAST’S TRAVELS? WISH THERE WAS LESS FIGHTING? DO YOU THINK CONSTANT SPEECH MAKES TRAVEL BETTER OR WORSE?
[Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo]
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